Thursday, January 3, 2008

Free Baby


I was in the hospital for a few days after Thanksgiving. I just got sick, it wasn't a big deal. Until I got the bill last week. When I told people I how much it cost me, they asked if I even had insurance. I began to ask myself why I even had a job.

I emailed HR. Surely, there had to be some mistake.

No mistake. She explained my deductibles, copays and 20% contributions. Basically, how my useless insurance plan could turn $10,000 in hospital fees would into a bill that would make me want to quit my job and find one with a real insurance plan.

The good news is, I've just about maxed out my contributions for the year. So if I have any other "medical issues" I should take advantage of zero fees (a defined, and therefore, probably meaningless term) for the rest of the plan year (Sept 1).

Medical issues? I don't know? I could fake a drug addiction. Spend 28 days in rehab? That could be fun.

Then it came to me. I have almost 9 months left in my plan year. I need to get pregnant. Having a baby has got to be expensive. Think of all the money I'd save. I could just have a planned Cesarean on the 28th or so of August (who cares how far along I am? this is a matter of ECONOMY) . This plan would definitely effect my ability to fit in my wedding dress, so I might need to shuffle the date a bit. But hey, free baby!